Honey, I stumble the kid!

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Be careful, however, that your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. – 1 Corinthians 8:9

Spending time with a 13-month old toddler at home reminded me of an indelible verse my previous mentor etched permanently on my mind, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ, follow my example” (Ephesians 5:1). She taught us not by speech (since we can pick up from the bible) but by her actions. I had the privilege to be able to serve and learn in both married and singles ministries the past years. My mentor then never failed to correct me whenever I did or said something not befitting as a Child of God which I always remember her last counsel to me, “Whether you like it or not, people around you are watching you because you are considered a spiritual Senior.” Honestly, I didn’t like that, but that is a resounding truth to all of us, especially with pre-believers.

Aside to spiritual matters, there is another aspect of being a good example starts from the home. Home is where the foundation is built. It amazed me how impressionable my toddler niece is at such a very tender age- on one occasion I was fiddling with my hair, and she was mimicking me! In many instances, she picked up what I did more than what I said. I realised she is watching me and I have to be very mindful that I should not set a bad example.

Indeed, kids remember what you did more than what you said. Therefore, we have to be very careful not to become a stumbling block to any one. We all have the freedom to make choices each day, live the life we want, and to do what we feel like to do. But this freedom can cost us or another person something, and it may be too high a price to pay because what we do today will determine tomorrow.

Parents, God has entrusted you with great responsibilities to nurture His little children in your care, and how are you doing with this divine task? Imagine this- if we are always living a bible-less and prayerless life, not applying kingdom values as godly parents, and not promoting family altar time, how are we going to enforce spiritual disciplines to the kids? Thence what godly values would we be imparting to them?

Singles, we may not have kids at home to watch us, but we don’t have to wait for a kid to change us. Because we have our family, the world and God watching us too- Character is who you are when no one is watching. (Of course, this applies to parents too.)

Show example by what we do is the best lesson we can teach— just to mention a few examples— we don’t remind kids to do their Quiet Time when we as parents fail to have this daily discipline; we don’t teach honour to a kid when we dishonour others by not respecting other people’s time when we turn up late for appointments.

Yes, we are absolutely not perfect, but that doesn’t excuse us for not doing what we supposed to do, and knowing the right thing to do yet not doing it. Kids are watching around us, and would we like to be accountable for stumbling them? Let’s remember too, God is watching.

So prepare your minds for action, be completely sober [in spirit—steadfast, self-disciplined, spiritually and morally alert], fix your hope completely on the grace [of God] that is coming to you when Jesus Christ is revealed. [Live] as obedient children [of God]; do not be conformed to the evil desires which governed you in your ignorance [before you knew the requirements and transforming power of the good news regarding salvation]. But like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves in all your conduct [be set apart from the world by your godly character and moral courage];  because it is written, “You shall be holy (set apart), for I am holy.” – 1 Peter 1:13-16 AMP

The change always first begin with you- you can, if only you want to. There is a difference between “I will” and “I want”- all of us can do any thing but not all of us want to; unless we want to, then we will do it.

So, how is our “inner” life thus far?

Courtesy photo (P1040652) taken by Rachel Hong @ Bandung, Indonesia, August 2017.
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Obedience Is Better Than Sacrifices

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“What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” – 1 Samuel 15:22 NLT

I had a catch-up with an old friend, Jae, whose sharing got me in deep rumination:

Snippet 1: When was the last time you can feel that you have grieved the Holy Spirit?

Jae shared about an argument that his 13-year old niece had with her mum who was so upset over her words that she was sent off to her room, “You better think over the words you have just said to me…” My friend knew his niece would cry badly as she had a very stern mother, so he went to check on her. True enough, she was crying badly, so Jae went to comfort her and tried to offer the usual niceties… But guess what was the response of his niece upon receiving his comfort? “Uncle, I do not blame my mum at all, I cry because I have grieved the Holy Spirit…”

I was absolutely stumbed for words to hear that coming from a 13-year old girl. It got me thinking when was the last time we could really FEEL that we have grieved the Holy Spirit by the things we said or did? If it has been a while to have such sensitivity like his young niece, it means that we have not been walking in the spirit closely in our daily lives. So often we pointed fingers and go around the blaming circle, without reflecting whether the problem first lie with us.

Snippet 2: “If this caused my children to stumble and turn away from the Lord, then I rather forego it…”

Jae’s brother can afford to upgrade his comfortable abode to a beautiful luxurious home as God has blessed him with much wealth over the years. His brother has been planning over 3 years how to build his dream home, that he looks forward to living in it with his family. Until a day he just decided to abort his plan and forfeit a huge deposit. Jae was shocked by his abrupt decision so he sounded him out what had happened. His reply was, “If living in a lap of luxury is going to stumble all my young children, especially the youngest one, that they start to behave like some rich pampered kids, just because they are blessed to have a lot more nice things, I rather forego my plans than to risk them to turn away from the Lord…”

I really salute this father for having a kingdom mindset- A God-loving father gives up all his rights for the sake of the next generation in the fear of the lord! Are there any of our decisions or things that we do will compromise the values of the Kingdom? So often, we thought by doing certain things will better the lives of our family- better house, better car, better things, without considering the true value of living on earth.

“Those who honor me I will honor.” – 1 Samuel 2:30B