About christedelyne

Edelyne- where trinity of the character "E": 1. Elohim is God from the beginning (first "E") and the end (last "E") of my life; 2. God is the Essence in all I do (middle "E" cos central); 3. With 3 "E"s, God made me Extraordinary.

Turning Over The Key Of Ownership

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“It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me!” – Galatians 2:20

The above verse used to be the mandate for my previous cell group many years ago. I observed the preposition ‘in’, holds the key to a breakthrough we need in our lives- we have Christ who lives in us!

Many of us can’t seem to stop worrying, kick certain bad habits, stop throwing temper, or to forgive a person who hurt us, simply because we hold on to a key that we have refused to turn it over to Christ because: (a) we think, “I have the right to do so……”, or (b) we have allowed the self to take control instead.

Now you see who rules with authority? The culprit is the big “I”, who holds the ‘key of ownership’, allowing one to rule with authority.

Many of us fail to live out this truth which has the power to: deliver us from challenges, restore a dying faith, overcome fears, ignite a lost hope, accomplish great plans God has for us, realise the Promises of God, grow in Christlikeness, and many other living power of Christ, through the Holy Spirit.

The moment you deny the self (and all the rights), let go of this ownership, and let God, only then can Christ rule and reign. He lives within you- in you to be precise! It is no longer “I” who live, but Christ.

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Whenever Our Heart Condemns Us

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For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.- 1 John 3:20

I will never forget the expression of my friend when she admonished me last January, “how can a Child of God behaved that way like an unbeliever as if you do not have God!” when I confided in her that I had been struggling with faith in believing God when my business hit a stalemate and my physical condition deteriorated. Though she meant well to point me back to the promise that God provides for our every needs and hears our every cries, I felt as though I was condemned with my honest fragility and naked vulnerability.

It might seem like an unsympathetic reproach from my friend, but her words resonate a truth that we often let it fall between the cracks in our struggles. Sometimes, we need a ‘tight slap on the face’ to be roused to reality in revealing a flaw in our belief system.

Do you know that we make evident our unbelief instantly whenever we fret over life circumstances? Are we aware that we have believed a lie about the nature of God whenever we act upon our fear or anxiety? Our actions will either convict or affirm us of our belief system, where it reveals: (a) the true central focus of our lives – God or the self; (b) who do we place our ultimate trust in – God or the self.

As believers, we often face such paradoxes from time to time. When we are on a spiritual high, we can believe God can move mountains and perform the impossible, but when we are on a spiritual low, we question the very existence of God. And despite history recorded the miracles of God in the Bible, we still entertain doubts.

We may know the truth but yet we consciously or unconsciously commit those sins we shouldn’t have said, done, reacted or behaved as a Child of God created in His Image. Failing which, our ungodly actions will bring about a guilt of conviction or a call to repentance. God knows, and He is greater than our heart and a sum of our thoughts.

Have it not been for the Grace of God who is slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 103:8), we would not be able to stand before Him uncondemned. However that does not give us a license to continue to sin, we are to make every conscious effort not to crucify Jesus all over again and subject Him to shame, especially when we are with unbelievers who will mock at our God.

And then have fallen away–to be restored again to repentance, because they themselves are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting Him to open shame. – Hebrews 6:6

With the year end closes in soon, it may be time to unclutter our baggages (inspect and reflect) and have a spring-cleaning (repent) to start the new year on a clean slate. After all, why would you want to move into the new year as ‘same-old same-old me’?

The Dangers Of Feelings

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The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? (Jeremiah 17:9 NLT) He who trusts in his own heart is a fool. (Proverbs 28:26a)

Here’s a point-blank question: “Are you a person who do things based on feelings?”

If you have been living life based on feelings, that means you let your heart (emotions) rule more than your head (provided it is of sound and godly wisdom). But God has a different take about trusting our feelings because our heart is most deceitful.

Living in an era that is about “feel good in order to live good” or “live good in order to feel good.”, the society of today has conditioned us a “Follow your heart!” culture where it places a very high value on our own desires and emotions.

When we live our lives based on whimsical emotions, we become subservient to our feelings instead of God’s Spirit and His Word. Following our heart cultivates an attitude of self-centredness rather than yield to surrender. And the flip side is, we cannot become true servants of Christ if we are controlled by our feelings. For a life lived in God is not lived on the plane of our feelings, but of the Will of God.

When we allow our feelings to take the lead, we will end up making a lot of foolish and self-focused decisions, and ended up making a mess of our lives. We will also develop the tendency to pick and choose the ‘truth’ that appeal to us personally, and reject those that contradict what we want to hear or receive. Whenever we try to edit the ‘truth’ to be in line with our emotions or preferences, we are actually placing our own opinions and thoughts higher than God’s.

I confessed that I can’t recount the number of times I didn’t feel like going to church, leading cell group, going to cell meetings, going for ministry, going to meet someone in need out of inconvenience, and God knows what else. And I often brushed them off as it is human to feel like that. It is not uncommon for most of us.

Understanding how our feelings come in play and how we can overcome them is all based on this golden rule- “First decide (wisely based on God’s Word) then feelings will follow.”

  1. Feeling opposes faith

A feeling that is based on the ‘right moment’, “I don’t feel that my faith is strong enough.” versus a decisive choice to just believe, “I chose to have faith no matter what!!”

  1. Feeling is contingent

A feeling that depends on whether you feel like it, “I really don’t feel like forgiving this person.” versus a decisive choice to just forgive as an act of obedience, “I chose to forgive this person because I myself have been forgiven by God.”

  1. Feeling is double-minded

A feeling that can’t decide between ‘yes’ or ‘no’, “I am not sure if I feel like going to church.” versus a decisive choice to say ‘yes!’, “I chose to die to myself (whatever you are feeling at the moment) and just go to church.”

  1. Feeling is fleeting

A feeling has ‘moods’ which can swing anytime and commitments tend to be very short-lived, “I feel like doing this. And the next moment, I don’t feel like doing this anymore.” versus a decisive choice to persevere, “I shall keep to what has been set initially despite how I feel.”

  1. Feeling is natural

A feeling naturally derive from how we feel at the moment, “I feel like…. / I don’t feel like…” versus a decisive choice to yield to the supernatural, “Although I don’t feel up to it, but I can do it through Christ who strengthen me.”

  1. Feeling can cook excuses

It is human nature to base decision or act on our emotions, and we often blame our fallen nature for our sins. If we are honest enough, we are very good at cooking excuses based on how we feel.

A life controlled by feelings is not very healthy, especially when our spiritual walk will be affected, therefore it is high time to set right with God in this area.

Last but not least, we also need to be mindful that something that “feels” right doesn’t mean it is right. No wonder God says, those who trust his own heart is a fool.

Thank You God

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It stirred upon my heart to offer a worshipful prayer with thankfulness of His Love and Grace upon my life. And the best thing is, I can feel my heart changes: (a) when I show my gratitude for each blessing; (b) when I realised about the things I failed to see in the moment until I recount them.

Thank you God that Your Love and Faithfulness is new every morning! Great is Your Faithfulness and Your mercies never failed. Thank you for being faithful even when I have been unfaithful.

Thank you God for loving me when I have been unlovable. Thank you for bearing with all my nonsenses, my wilfulness and my wanderings, forgiving me time and again for all my failings, even when I have hurt You.

Thank you God for sustaining me each day, that I can live, breathe, hear, walk, think, speak and do what I am able. Thank you that all has been well with my soul.

Thank you God for all the wonders You have made, and the miracles no one can count. Thank you for reminding me that miracles happen every day, in the big and even in the small, for it is You who made them.

Thank you God for Your life-giving Word that speak alive to me when I need it. Thank you for every Rhema Word, revelation, and divine guidance that direct me, change me, encourage me, strengthen me and nourish my soul physically and spiritually.

Thank you God for reminding me that even with a mustard seed of faith, I can move my mountains of impossibilities. Thank you that there is nothing too great on earth that you can’t handle!

Thank you God for helping me to keep the faith that You are in the process of healing me and restoring me to complete wholeness. I should be thankful for what I have than what I do not have, because things could have been worst had it not been for your divine intervention.

Thank you God for all your plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and future. Thank you for ushering me in Your Highest plan for my highest good for Your highest purpose. Thank you that in all things God You work for good.

Thank you God for every inspiration, ideas and concepts at work for You are my Creator and my creativity comes from You. Thank you for Your Hands upon my business, its operations, cashflow and working relationships. Thank you for each supernatural favours and divine intervention that you appoint men into my court.

Thank you for each and every provision each day. I thank you for for the good and bad times and how thankful I am for every one dollar added to my bank account.

Thank you God that You are my true Source, apart from You I am nothing, without You I can do nothing.

Thank you God that you are the Ultimate Sovereignty, in control of every situations in my life, and my future is in Your good Hands.

Thank you God for all the angels whom You have sent to cross path with me. They have been your vessels of Love, Hope and Faith. Thank you for making my journey on earth more bearable.

Thank you God that You have keep me safe from all harm’s way, and watching over me, even when I sleep.

Thank you God for seeing me through each season of my life, the ups and downs, that Your Presence matters to me more and more. Thank you for being my constant tower of refuge and strength. Thank you for upholding me when I am downcasted and Your Comfort brings consolation to my soul.

Thank you God for each milestones and breakthrough in my life, that You are intimately involved in every details that bear Your handprints of unmerited grace and unending mercies.

Thank you God for blessing me in ways I cannot see, for each blessings I counted that I am so blessed far beyond what I can ask for and imagined.

Thank you God I am who I am, where I am and how I am, because of You.

Take Up And Cross (Part 2)

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I shared previously about denying my self- When I started to question my faith, I could no longer hear nor feel God, to the extent that spiritual journal for the last quarter of 2015 to the whole year of 2016 was unusually bare. I had lost the intimacy with God totally when I was in rebellion in my pit. Thereupon, I arrived at the next hurdle found in the same key verse:

“If any man will come after me, let him (a) deny himself, and (b) take up his CROSS DAILY, and (c) FOLLOW me.” – Luke 9:23 KJV. 

The centrality of true discipleship is: 1. Take up the Cross daily. And I want to add in another parallel, 2. Crossing daily.

  1. The way of the Cross:

(i) A total dedication as His Disciples – For Jesus relinquished His rights as God and lived His Life solely in fulfilling His Father’s Will

(ii) Giving up our lives for the Kingdom – For Jesus had died on the Cross for the redemption of mankind. It calls for a full surrender of our lives.

(iii) It requires sacrifices that will cost us – Consider that God paid a very exorbitant price when He gave His Only Son to die on the Cross to pay the penalty for our sins that Jesus doesn’t deserve to bear.

(iv) An instrument of death – It is a reminder that we need to die to ourselves, daily

Most of us stop at taking up the Cross, but yet to CROSS further because of limitations, fears, inadequacies, inconveniences, sacrifices to make etc. Simply, we haven’t arrive at denying ourselves. The first hurdle in the verse points to denying ourselves, upon which we can then take up the Cross. Then Jesus said, “AND follow Me.” “and” is found twice in the same verse, which emphasises a step-by-step call for action. It is a daily process, and not a one-time destination. There is no way we can move forward without first denying ourselves. (And by the way, denying ourselves apply for good times too, and not just the bad times.)

  1. The last hurdle will then be “Follow” Jesus. Following Jesus require crossing daily- Do as He did. 

I think, to summarise all the above is found in this verse-

He (God / Holy Spirit) must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. – John 3:30

Just want to end my sharing with 2 more hard truths that never fail to rein me in:

Many of us can address God as God, but how about calling Him Lord? Having His Lordship, means He rules and reigns in every areas of our lives: work, finances, relationships, emotions, our heart and even our plans. If Jesus is not Lord of all, He is not Lord at all.

Life will always be a series of TEST but through them we can come out stronger and glorify Him in our TESTIMONY;

Our lives may be a MESS but they can be turnaround for His beautiful MESSAGE;

When we face TRIALS in life, always recall and remember, how God can bring us into TRIUMPHS.

The Pain Of Denial (Part 1)

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P.S. I will be sharing in parts as it will be too much to share at one time. I was prompted to share my convictions, and hope by sharing this entry in my own spiritual journal, it will bring illumination in a new light.

“If any man will come after me, let him (a) DENY himself, and (b) take up his cross DAILY, and follow me.” – Luke 9:23 KJV. 

We all have heard this verse far too many times. If we are honest, we also switch off many times. This has been the mandate of my previous cell at one time till a time it became alive to me– I went through a very difficult transition in my life two years ago when I was impacted with a physical condition, although not life-threatening, that a surgery could not fix and a healing miracle seemed implausible — Dashed dreams. Crushed hope. Wretched self. Menacing fears.

The first few weeks upon receiving the check-up report, I wasn’t able to worship in church– I was incapacitated to sing nor clap along. All in my mind was, “Why??” and “God, where are you?” My ex-G12 cell and my mentor had showered me with inordinate amount of concern, but I wasn’t grateful. I just wanted to be left alone as I justified the rights to my disappointments and lamely to confess my anger with God too. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to attend the weekly G12 meetings, and I even withdrew myself from the cell. But to my surprise, I couldn’t abandon my open cell that I had to lead every Friday. I still fulfilled my duty, shared the Word, and put on smiles (though I was struggling very badly as if a hypocrite).

Was I wearing a mask with my open cell? No. It was one method that helped me- “Deny myself.”

I couldn’t count the number of times “I didn’t FEEL up to it or FEEL like to”, “I didn’t WANT to…”, “I hate to be forced to…”, “I have the RIGHTS to…” I merely trying to cook up excuses as justified reasons. Till I came to a point that I realised I was actually very self-centered, very consumed with “I, me, myself” and very inwards-looking, focusing on myself only. I put my feelings and emotions before God as how I feel and what I want is more important than Him. It was a constant battle to deny, deny, deny, deny myself in the pit. It was even a scarier experience when I was enshrouded with darkness, alone, and found myself drifting away spiritually over six months. I was aware of such a downwards spiral, but I refused to yield as I was wrestling with God like Jacob. What really jolted me was- I began to lose myself while threading on a very thin tightrope, and any moment longer, I think I had tipped to the other side. That was unthinkably scary.

So how did I climb out of the pit, and back to the Cross? I have to simply keep denying myself daily, yes, EVERY DAY- deny my mood for the day, deny my emotions, deny my rights, deny my will, even to denying my convenience (my own time, my own pace, my own freedom…), and surrender to the Cross.

If we are honest with ourselves, it is by NATURE we follow what our flesh leads us. It is unnatural for us to contradict our flesh and that takes SUPERNATURAL intervention with the help of the Spirit. Aside to taking action to deny the self, we can draw reinforced strength from these verses:

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. – Galatians 5:16-17

For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. – Romans 8:7-8

There is no change in my physical condition, but I had stopped asking all the whys because there will never be any answer- and who am I to question the Sovereignty? It was a decision whether to continue rotting by being my own god or to let go of all and let God be God. And letting go doesn’t mean to remain status quo. Just like bible says, “Faith without action is dead”, so I had to force myself since it is unnaturally of me to crucify my flesh to weaken its desires. It is simply to put to action in denying myself.

No doubt it is an uphill task because our flesh gets stronger when our Spirit is quenched by sins. It is a humbling experience to call upon God for help in this area.

So first thing first, get right with God. Face it honestly- Overcome it with God far easier and better than letting what consumed you and lose yourself.

When God Sings……

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Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. – Psalm 143:8

I ever prayed for God to wake me up earlier so that I could start my day early. On two occasions while sound asleep, I heard my spirit singing in the morning, “I have my hope in Christ alone” repeatedly. It almost sounded like a soft alarm to rouse me from my sleep gently, but I brushed it off, “Aarrgggh, I need to sleep… Be quiet please…” But the spirit continued to sing, “No fear in death, no fear in life, I have my hope in Christ alone…” While fuzzy with sleep, I peeped at the clock besides me, it was showing exactly the time I had prayed to wake up!

On the contrary, I think God is also ministering to my soul when I consulted Him about some concerns I had while prayer-strolling the night before. In another occasion while I was sleeping, my spirit sang again, this time a love song (which I had forgotten the exact words). (And yes, it was also about time for me to wake up as scheduled.)

Such a gentle whisper affirming me of His Love that morning nourished my soul. It brought to my mind the verse in Psalm 143:8 where God brings word of His unfailing love in the morning, He will show the way when we entrust our lives to Him.

Sometimes God sings as His way in expressing His Delight, Love, Affirmation and Reassurance.

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” -Zephaniah 3:17

Do you need to hear Him sings? Make a request to your Abba Father who desire to quiet you with His Love and sing to you.